I met Jo(h)n outside a subway relatively close to where I live. My wife had gone to a nearby store to buy groceries. I had already finished my errands and was waiting for her to pick me up. Jon is a big guy. He wears a blue sweat suit and a black knit cap. He twirls his mustache and runs one hand down his curling beard while he contemplates what he wants to say.
Contrary to most of my experience with the homeless, it took Jon a little while to warm up to my presence in his area. Several of my attempts at small talk fell flat right away. He wasn’t interested in the weather or the store nearby that had recently closed down. He just wanted to stare into the distance and stroke his beard.
Our conversation bumped along with mumbled one-word answers for several minutes, until he asked me if I had any siblings. I told him about mine, where they live and what they do, and then he became interested. He told me that he had “a whole bunch of” children and grandchildren.
He really wanted to get himself a place to live so he could have family get-togethers again, like they used to do. He hadn’t had much success. John went into a lengthy soliloquy about churches and their signs that had something to do with studios (whether apartments or musical, I wasn’t really sure – John is a musician as well).
Just before my wife came by to pick me up an older gentleman came up to Jon and asked him if he was hungry. John sort of half-shrugged his shoulders as if to say, “I won’t turn down food if you’re offering.”
“How about a meatball sub?” the older man asked.
“Ah, well… I sorta’ wanted to try the pepperoni one.” Jon turned and pointed at the window display decal behind him.
The old man squinted his eyes a bit. “I was going to get a footlong and share half with you. I was coming for a meatball though.”
“Okay.” John said somewhat passively. He waited for the man to walk inside before turning to me and adding, “I had one of those yesterday, and I just wanted to change things up a bit.”
Monday, April 16, 2012
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Finding Mason Again
The forecast says there is a 100% chance of rain tonight. 100%. What should I do about Mason? He mentioned a long-term care mission in uptown called “First Aid” where he knew some people. They told him that as soon as his scabies cleared up they would let him in. I asked him how long that would be. He guessed about a week until it was completely gone. He went into excruciating detail about the sores, worms, and body lice that accompanied it.
He is somewhere close. So close. So close to my home. We are warm inside and he’s not. What should we do? My wife and I weigh the options. He could stay in our small one-bedroom apartment for the night. Is that going too far? Doesn’t Jesus want us to give up ourselves and our comfort for other people? But the scabies. And she’s pregnant. And the bathroom is located in the back of the master bedroom.
But the rain. And he is so frail. How cruel would it be to let him die on my doorstep?
Do we want this homeless guy to know exactly where we live? Will he come to us for handouts from now on? How do we even know if his story is legit? I noticed while he and I were talking he would nonchalantly bring up his needs in a way that seemed a little manipulative.
“Where are you going?”
“Starbucks”
“Starbuck huh? What does coffee go for these days?”
“I don’t really know, expensive though.”
“How long has it been since I’ve been in a Starbucks? Coffee was $2.15 when I was there last.”
“Would you like some coffee?”
“Del Taco over here has a good coffee with a senior discount.”
“Alright let’s go.”
It was raining; he was cold and wanted coffee. Is it so wrong to ask in a round-about way? But, what if he just goes around manipulating people to get stuff from them? What if none of his story is true?
100% chance of rain for the next two days.
All I can think about is when James says, “If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?” Even if he is a con-artist and a liar he still shouldn’t have to sleep in the rain.
We decide to put him up in a cheap hotel for the night. I just have to find him first.
I go to his cart and find the previous bundle has been redistributed and organized throughout the cart. At least he’s seen the gift. Mason is nowhere to be found though. I search around the block. It’s getting dark now and the rain is pouring. I check the back alleys, front streets and parking lots around the barbershop. I finally catch up with him coming out of the Del Taco.
Mason is very appreciative of the things I left for him. I tell him that more rain is coming and that we want to put him up for the night. He is so humble and thankful that my misgivings about his character slowly begin to melt away. I pull my truck around, he carefully selects which belongings will come with him to the hotel, and off we go.
Mason reeks of urine and sweat. The best I can do is keep the air circulating in the cab to keep from gagging. The woman at the hotel is not excited to see us either. She reluctantly gives him a room.
He wheezes his way up the single flight of stairs, stopping twice to catch his breath. “Bronchitis,” he tells me. “And the early stages of emphysema.”
We chat for a little while. I convince him to call his friend at the mission to see about getting in as soon as he can. Mason promises to try. We chat a little more, about the Bible, about churches. He wants to meet with us to talk about Scripture soon. I think I would like that. It’s difficult to leave Mason again. He’s lonely. He just wants to talk to someone. But he’s not pushy or overpowering. He is grateful for the room. I promise to check in with him again on Sunday.
He is somewhere close. So close. So close to my home. We are warm inside and he’s not. What should we do? My wife and I weigh the options. He could stay in our small one-bedroom apartment for the night. Is that going too far? Doesn’t Jesus want us to give up ourselves and our comfort for other people? But the scabies. And she’s pregnant. And the bathroom is located in the back of the master bedroom.
But the rain. And he is so frail. How cruel would it be to let him die on my doorstep?
Do we want this homeless guy to know exactly where we live? Will he come to us for handouts from now on? How do we even know if his story is legit? I noticed while he and I were talking he would nonchalantly bring up his needs in a way that seemed a little manipulative.
“Where are you going?”
“Starbucks”
“Starbuck huh? What does coffee go for these days?”
“I don’t really know, expensive though.”
“How long has it been since I’ve been in a Starbucks? Coffee was $2.15 when I was there last.”
“Would you like some coffee?”
“Del Taco over here has a good coffee with a senior discount.”
“Alright let’s go.”
It was raining; he was cold and wanted coffee. Is it so wrong to ask in a round-about way? But, what if he just goes around manipulating people to get stuff from them? What if none of his story is true?
100% chance of rain for the next two days.
All I can think about is when James says, “If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?” Even if he is a con-artist and a liar he still shouldn’t have to sleep in the rain.
We decide to put him up in a cheap hotel for the night. I just have to find him first.
I go to his cart and find the previous bundle has been redistributed and organized throughout the cart. At least he’s seen the gift. Mason is nowhere to be found though. I search around the block. It’s getting dark now and the rain is pouring. I check the back alleys, front streets and parking lots around the barbershop. I finally catch up with him coming out of the Del Taco.
Mason is very appreciative of the things I left for him. I tell him that more rain is coming and that we want to put him up for the night. He is so humble and thankful that my misgivings about his character slowly begin to melt away. I pull my truck around, he carefully selects which belongings will come with him to the hotel, and off we go.
Mason reeks of urine and sweat. The best I can do is keep the air circulating in the cab to keep from gagging. The woman at the hotel is not excited to see us either. She reluctantly gives him a room.
He wheezes his way up the single flight of stairs, stopping twice to catch his breath. “Bronchitis,” he tells me. “And the early stages of emphysema.”
We chat for a little while. I convince him to call his friend at the mission to see about getting in as soon as he can. Mason promises to try. We chat a little more, about the Bible, about churches. He wants to meet with us to talk about Scripture soon. I think I would like that. It’s difficult to leave Mason again. He’s lonely. He just wants to talk to someone. But he’s not pushy or overpowering. He is grateful for the room. I promise to check in with him again on Sunday.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Mason in the Rain
I’ve seen Mason sitting with his shopping cart behind a barbershop near my apartment for the past few weeks. He’s a tall thin man, decently dressed and clean. His cheeks are wrinkled and a little hollow, his eyes are silvery blue. He tells me right away that he’s sixty-five, and I believe him. He’s very articulate though, his mind is sharp. He doesn’t whine about his condition. He is matter-of-fact.
It is raining this morning when I see him under the eaves of the barber shop, taking long pulls on his cigarette. We chat briefly, and like so many others, as soon as he understands that I mean to stay and listen he gives me his whole life story. We walk to a fast-food restaurant to get out of the cold and wet as we talk.
Mason is the firstborn son. His father was named Mason, and his father’s father. “Masons, real masons, build things, not like those freemasons. I built things when I was young. I was in construction. Drywall was my specialty. It was my family tradition to name your firstborn Mason and teach him to build.” He was born on a farm in Kansas in 1947. His mother committed suicide when he was 9, his father abandoned them a couple years before that. He was raised by his grandparents.
Mason had one sister, but she committed suicide too because she blamed herself for their mother’s depression and death. He has two younger brothers that he hasn’t seen or heard from since they were crawling around in diapers.
Mason tells me that he is only a few months away from receiving social security now. He could have collected at 62, but by moving to the streets and waiting three years he will get more money when he’s finally approved. This combined with his VA check should be enough for him to rent an apartment and get off the street again. So he hopes, anyway.
He’s very meticulous in the way he prepares his coffee. Strips the lid from the creamer, pours it in sideways, adds the sugar. He stacks the creamer cups on the tray, rolls the packs of sugar like mini cigarettes and sticks them in the topmost cup. By the time we finish talking there are three little creamer towers standing symmetrically across the tray.
He asks me how old I am. I tell him 26. “Oh to be 26 again.” He says, lightheartedly. I doubt it’s nostalgia though. When he was 25 he came home from Vietnam to find that his wife had died from a heroin overdose. No one told him until he walked in the door. Her children, his stepchildren, still blame him for her death, even though he was out of the country. “I used to be a heroin addict too. And a alcoholic. Not anymore though. Not after that. I haven’t touched the stuff since she died.” Now he’s 40 years sober. At 26 he would have dealt with withdrawal, shakes, creeps, hallucinations, and guilt besides whatever he saw in Vietnam. What would it mean for him to be 26 again?
Mason and I talk for several hours. I find out that he was a web designer and computer programmer. He had to sell his computer a few years back for cash. He is a member of the generation that played with home computers in their infant form and learned by tinkering them as they grew. He told me about systems he developed for companies all over southern California. Websites, inventory software, logistics solutions that he designed himself. I remember a programmer friend of mine once describing his job as the need to categorize and organize everything around him regardless of its significance. So the creamer towers make sense.
The rain lets up, so I offer to take him to the 99cent store to replace the reading glasses and books that someone stole from his cart a few days ago. Mason loves books, pens and notebook just like me. As a fellow writer it seems like the least I can do to help. I leave him at the restaurant and go up to my apartment to put my bag away. I call my wife to help me find a shelter for him tonight. I couldn’t stand the thought of this frail old man shivering in the rain all night. The search is fruitless. All the local cold-weather shelters have been closed since last week. When I get back to the restaurant Mason is gone.
I go to the store without him and buy some of the necessities he mentioned as missing. Socks, soup cans, water, a notebook with nice pens, a little umbrella. I leave them wrapped in plastic on his cart behind the barber shop. The bags look so trivial when I see it bundled up on top of his wet clothes and blankets. I look around for him again without any luck.
I go up to my apartment and stare out at the falling rain. I think about coming home to find my wife dead. What would that be like? It would probably drive me to drink instead of away from it. What if the rest of Mason’s life is so terrible it actually made 26 something worth pining for? I think about never seeing my family again. I think about the fact that my first name is the same as my father’s and my grandfather’s and that my wife and I are expecting our firstborn son. Mason never remarried. He has no children of his own. He will never pass on his name.
I think about sleeping in the rain, and it makes me cry.
I can’t remember the last time I cried about anything. I’ve talked to hundreds of homeless people. Only a small fraction of their stories make it to this blog. I’ve never been affected like this. Maybe it was the rain. Maybe it was the fact that this guy literally sleeps a stone’s throw from my apartment. Maybe I’ve been out of the loop for so long that I am not as jaded or calloused as I was during previous posts. Mason shouldn’t have to live on the street until his social security comes through.
I hate homelessness.
It is raining this morning when I see him under the eaves of the barber shop, taking long pulls on his cigarette. We chat briefly, and like so many others, as soon as he understands that I mean to stay and listen he gives me his whole life story. We walk to a fast-food restaurant to get out of the cold and wet as we talk.
Mason is the firstborn son. His father was named Mason, and his father’s father. “Masons, real masons, build things, not like those freemasons. I built things when I was young. I was in construction. Drywall was my specialty. It was my family tradition to name your firstborn Mason and teach him to build.” He was born on a farm in Kansas in 1947. His mother committed suicide when he was 9, his father abandoned them a couple years before that. He was raised by his grandparents.
Mason had one sister, but she committed suicide too because she blamed herself for their mother’s depression and death. He has two younger brothers that he hasn’t seen or heard from since they were crawling around in diapers.
Mason tells me that he is only a few months away from receiving social security now. He could have collected at 62, but by moving to the streets and waiting three years he will get more money when he’s finally approved. This combined with his VA check should be enough for him to rent an apartment and get off the street again. So he hopes, anyway.
He’s very meticulous in the way he prepares his coffee. Strips the lid from the creamer, pours it in sideways, adds the sugar. He stacks the creamer cups on the tray, rolls the packs of sugar like mini cigarettes and sticks them in the topmost cup. By the time we finish talking there are three little creamer towers standing symmetrically across the tray.
He asks me how old I am. I tell him 26. “Oh to be 26 again.” He says, lightheartedly. I doubt it’s nostalgia though. When he was 25 he came home from Vietnam to find that his wife had died from a heroin overdose. No one told him until he walked in the door. Her children, his stepchildren, still blame him for her death, even though he was out of the country. “I used to be a heroin addict too. And a alcoholic. Not anymore though. Not after that. I haven’t touched the stuff since she died.” Now he’s 40 years sober. At 26 he would have dealt with withdrawal, shakes, creeps, hallucinations, and guilt besides whatever he saw in Vietnam. What would it mean for him to be 26 again?
Mason and I talk for several hours. I find out that he was a web designer and computer programmer. He had to sell his computer a few years back for cash. He is a member of the generation that played with home computers in their infant form and learned by tinkering them as they grew. He told me about systems he developed for companies all over southern California. Websites, inventory software, logistics solutions that he designed himself. I remember a programmer friend of mine once describing his job as the need to categorize and organize everything around him regardless of its significance. So the creamer towers make sense.
The rain lets up, so I offer to take him to the 99cent store to replace the reading glasses and books that someone stole from his cart a few days ago. Mason loves books, pens and notebook just like me. As a fellow writer it seems like the least I can do to help. I leave him at the restaurant and go up to my apartment to put my bag away. I call my wife to help me find a shelter for him tonight. I couldn’t stand the thought of this frail old man shivering in the rain all night. The search is fruitless. All the local cold-weather shelters have been closed since last week. When I get back to the restaurant Mason is gone.
I go to the store without him and buy some of the necessities he mentioned as missing. Socks, soup cans, water, a notebook with nice pens, a little umbrella. I leave them wrapped in plastic on his cart behind the barber shop. The bags look so trivial when I see it bundled up on top of his wet clothes and blankets. I look around for him again without any luck.
I go up to my apartment and stare out at the falling rain. I think about coming home to find my wife dead. What would that be like? It would probably drive me to drink instead of away from it. What if the rest of Mason’s life is so terrible it actually made 26 something worth pining for? I think about never seeing my family again. I think about the fact that my first name is the same as my father’s and my grandfather’s and that my wife and I are expecting our firstborn son. Mason never remarried. He has no children of his own. He will never pass on his name.
I think about sleeping in the rain, and it makes me cry.
I can’t remember the last time I cried about anything. I’ve talked to hundreds of homeless people. Only a small fraction of their stories make it to this blog. I’ve never been affected like this. Maybe it was the rain. Maybe it was the fact that this guy literally sleeps a stone’s throw from my apartment. Maybe I’ve been out of the loop for so long that I am not as jaded or calloused as I was during previous posts. Mason shouldn’t have to live on the street until his social security comes through.
I hate homelessness.
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